The Rants of a Widowed Mom

Good morning!

I have been thinking about starting this blog for a few years now and today is the day – doing it.  I’ve found it so therapeutic to ramble anonymously daily, weekly, or whenever the mood strikes me.  There have to be more of us out there that could use a forum that is casual and supportive, so here it is.  Please feel free to share your stories, your day-to-day challenges (and wins!) and interact with the other followers.  I’m a newbie at this, so bear with me while I learn more about this platform.

I was widowed at the age of 33 in 2015 and left on my own to raise two toddlers.  We were all involved in a multi-car accident that killed my husband on-site at the age of 35.  By some miracle, myself and the kids made it out with minor injuries and alive.  I still believe we had no business walking away in one piece.  Long story short (for now), I put my big girl pants on as much as possible (likely I was in shock for a few months), pulled us back together, relocated our family, sold/bought a house, found a new full-time job and here we are.

Now that you know my background, it’s time for my blog for today.  I drove to and from the OBX myself with the kids.  It’s an annual trip but I haven’t done it by myself before.  This time I opted to drive alone so I could have some self-reflection time.  I think it was worth it, but I’m pondering the bigger picture.  Day-to-day life tends to get us down and we get stuck in routines and forget how big the world is.  Don’t get me wrong, we try to enjoy life to the fullest, but I’m a chicken when it comes to changing anything major.  I didn’t used to be, but kids and major life events change a person.  Stability is great for kids, but sometimes it drags me down.  I’m working on re-evaluating my goals.  Where do I want to be when I’m 50?  What do I want for the kids?  What is it in my life today that just pisses me off?  My job has great benefits and pay, but is it at all satisfying?  I’m thankful for what I have, but if I look back when I’m 80, will I feel like I took full advantage of the life I was given?  My goal for this week is to draft some goals and I think I will find some things in my life are inline with the long-term goals and some are sucking the life out of me.  More to come.


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