It’s Been A While….Time to Update the Self-Reflection

It’s been quite a while since I have written and I really don’t know why other than life is a zoo – same old.  Someone today asked me about my “lists” and it prompted to me to wonder, what about my lists?  It’s been a while – probably time to revisit and remind myself what I want for ME.

So, now that I just read through my goal list, it seems I haven’t made much progress on some of them and I’m not sure what to do about that.  It’s a bit annoying that in 6 months I have the same bullet items with no progress.  Things I really need to remind myself to work on –

  • Reduce work stress – it’s been a hell of a year at work.  Meeting with boss on Thursday to try and figure this out.  Absolutely need to enjoy my summer more this year.
  • Read – still a struggle and I have no idea why other than by the time evening comes, I’m tired and my brain hurts.  I read all day for work and I don’t want to do it at night.  The only books I’ve read for pleasure in the past year were at the beach when I was “allowed” to read for fun….when I’m home I see things around me that need to be done.  I have listened to portions of audible books – does that count?  Anyone have any good no-brain-required book recommendations?  I love a good series that never ends (Janet Evanovich’s books rule).
  • Evaluate what I want in a relationship – response is “it’s complicated”.
    • I dated someone for a bit around Christmas time.  He’s an absolutely lovely person with way too much baggage currently.  It hurt because it was so nice and then over like a switch.  Have I mentioned I’m not good at dating nor do I really want to truly “date”?  Vomit.
    • I had a drunken encounter with a long-time friend recently.  Honestly, I thought that was going to be the extent of it and then he texted.  And then, he texted again….hmmmmmm.  After the last debacle and realizing how much things hurt me and there always seems to be kids involved at this age, I’m downright afraid but not so afraid to see what happens.  TBD.  He cooks – that has to count for something right?

So, with all of this, I still believe there are things I am feeling positive about –

  • Exercise/healthy lifestyle – outside of too many beers on weekends, I’m doing pretty well at this one.  Sure would be nice if we had a decent grocery store around here!  The town is improving healthy activity options and the weather is finally improving – all should help.
  • Travel – I’ve made it clear to everyone I know that if they want to go somewhere and it’s within our means, we are in – let’s do it.
  • Reduce time with negative people – minimized and timeouts taken as needed.
  • Find a new therapist – I’ve tried – I’ve even gone as far as attempting online therapy.  It’s sooooo hard to start over with someone much less find someone with whom you connect.  The search continues.

So many days I just want to pull an “Eat, Love, Pray” and if it weren’t for my 2 kiddos I’d be in Italy stuffing myself with pasta getting ready to hit an island for the duration.

So there’s my self-reflection for the day.  It was good to check back in with this blog and myself.

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